nine out of ten dentists recommend Colgate. the last one won’t stop recommending “the flesh of the innocent” and “thousands and thousands of skulls, staring, judging” and quite frankly we aren’t sure if he’s a real dentist or not
- Mom: who are you texting?
- Me: nobody
- Mom: what are you doing then?
- Me: nothing
the only people who call me cute live 7000 miles away
When people say “IM CRYING” are you really crying?(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
When people saying “IM SCREAMING” are you really screaming?(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
When people say “THEY GIVE ME LIFE” do they really give you life?(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
When people say “LOL” are you really LOLing?(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
sometimes i think that i am not so stereotypical of an american
and then i remember that i consider the coke freestyle machine one of the greatest modern inventions
i mean look at this thing
over 100 choices, computerized mixing, one spout, touch screen, ice dispenser
have u ever seen anything so wondrous and beautiful??
i always wonder why no one likes me and then i remember i dont even like me
there is a difference between people who are smart and people who get good grades
i say “fight me” a lot for a girl who is 5”3’ and has a hard time opening some doors because they’re too heavy